Where Your Self-Sabotaging Belief Systems Came From

Where Your Self-Sabotaging Belief Systems Came From

We all have an opinion,are driven and decide everything we do based on our beliefs. Some of our beliefs are very powerful and we will do everything possible to defend and hold on to them. Our most powerful beliefs determine who we are, how we think, decide, act and behave.

What are the first beliefs that come to your mind that determine your thinking, decisions, actions and behavior? What are the things in life that you believe you have to do or don’t want to do at all?

uncertain woman looking up, background with yes no choices

Maybe you are not even fully aware of some of your beliefs, although they determine the things you say and do. Your beliefs already kick in when you wake up. Let’s take a look at a very simple example: What is the first thing you believe you have to do in the morning? For some, it’s making coffee and eating breakfast, for others, it’s reading the newspaper or checking your emails or Facebook account. It can be all kinds of things.

How would you feel if you would not do that tomorrow morning? Some of these things might be easy to skip, but others might give you an unpleasant feeling if you would skip them. That feeling is caused because your beliefs are connected to a code that creates these feelings. The feelings serve as some kind of “warning system.” It is almost like your subconscious is telling you: “Hey you there, what’s going on? Did you forget that you have to do that?” Of course your subconscious does not say really say that,  😉 but it almost feels like it.

This process of beliefs that translates into feelings is an ongoing process the entire day. For instance, you might “know” instantly, even by only seeing a certain person, what kind of person that is and if you like them or not. But what creates ‘knowing” that? It is not your rational brain but you know because of the feeling that you get in your body. Why? Because your subconscious comparison material creates the feeling that creates your beliefs and opinion about that person.

This process of feelings that lead to a belief, opinion, judgment, is an ongoing process. This is also why a specific color gives you a good or bad feeling. Or the feeling of liking and disliking a particular kind of food or drink. Sometimes these feelings are so powerful that even thinking of that particular food creates nausea or makes you want to puke. If you can relate to that, what are the food or drinks that trigger a negative feeling inside of you?

We are driven by our beliefs. Our real beliefs are always based on feelings. If this is not the case, it is just a bunch of words without any real meaning to us. If these feelings are caused by activated past experiences and we can remember the event from beginning to end (in Progressive Mental Alignment we call them clusters), then everything is fine. We know why we feel the way we do.

For instance, you hear someone tell you how they cut themselves while preparing food. You can instantly imagine how this feels because you remember that time you cut yourself while preparing a piece of tough meat, or like me, slicing an apple in a not so handy way ;). These are normal memories caused by activated clusters in your subconscious brain.

But the feelings that are generated when a bad cluster is activated are always negative and you can never remember the content of the bad cluster at that moment consciously, but your body will feel the negative feelings coming from that bad cluster. It’s these moments in life when you suddenly experience a negative mood swing without any “apparent” reason.

It could even be at a wonderful party that you were enjoying until suddenly, your good feeling was replaced by a negative feeling. If you are interested you can read about that in a previous blog of mine, Your response pattern: and why everybody responds differently in the exact same situation.

The feelings created by these bad clusters are therefore never appropriate for the present situation. Simple things like a color, smell, taste, a facial expression, gesture, etc. activate these negative feelings.

Let’s assume you are at an important meeting. Suddenly you start to feel uncomfortable without being able to pinpoint a specific reason or cause for these negative feelings.

Your friend mechanism activates its comforting rituals (see my post last week). These rituals/habits that you execute “helps” you to stay in control of the uncomfortable feelings you’re experiencing. Nevertheless, this whole situation creates feelings of insecurity and loss of control. These feelings are unacceptable for us. Your brain will automatically look for a ‘logical’ reason or cause as to why you feel uncomfortable. The ‘logical’ reasons or causes your subconscious comes up with, are nothing else than opinions, judgments, conclusions, theories, or in other words – belief systems! The beliefs you use at that moment are the ones that serve you best, they lead you away from what the real cause is to why you feel or react the way you do.

In this case you might create the beliefs that something is ‘wrong’ at that meeting. You can’t trust all the people there. You have to be careful not to agree to anything they can hold you responsible to later on. Maybe they want to trick you into something you don’t want to do. They don’t want you there. It’s always you they pick on. These are all beliefs! These beliefs you are not born with, they are created during events in your life.

Because the feeling that inspires these beliefs originate from activated bad clusters and are always negative. The beliefs that originate from this bad cluster will also be negative and counterproductive. Because these beliefs soothe and suppress the conscious registration of negative feelings, these beliefs don’t feel wrong to you when you embrace them!

Experiencing these negative feelings in a business meeting can easily lead to missing out on a great financial deal or create unnecessary future tensions between you and your colleagues.

But bad clusters are not just activated at your work. These same negative and unexplainable mood swings can occur at home, when you talk to a friend, during a family meeting, etc.

Can you imagine the damage that could be caused if you would develop incorrect negative beliefs about those who are dearest to you? This is actually the number 1 underlying cause of interpersonal-relationship problems, break-ups, divorces and fights. Keep in mind, I’m referring here to negative beliefs that are empowered by bad clusters. If a negative belief originates from experiences that you can remember (clusters) they are usually correct, and if not, they are easy to change.

Sabotaging belief systems are always fueled by the feelings from activated bad clusters. These feelings belong to the most powerful feelings we have. The belief systems that originate from them are also the most powerful beliefs we have. We even create beliefs upon why these sabotaging beliefs are totally right for us to hold on to.

I understand that it can seem like a lot to grasp at once in a brief blog like this. But the information is all down to earth and easy to follow if you allow yourself to listen to your own body and subconscious mind. I know you have the power in you to do so, and you can turn your negative beliefs in ones that really serve you.

I will continue providing you with helpful tools and insights to explore your true self!

Are you curious how your brain is functioning and want to free yourself of your psychological and psychosomatic complaints? Read all you need to know in Desirable Power

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What it Really Means to Let Go

A new campaign launched by the Skin care company Sanctuary, is urging young women to just ‘let it go’ in response to rising stress. The campaign includes a video of women in their later years, offering advice to their younger selves. It urges young women to let go of perfectionism, pressure, and self-hatred and to embrace relaxation, presence and enjoyment. In essence, it’s a movement for happiness.

It’s an important message for almost 50 percent of women who say they feel ‘moderately or extremely stressed’ and another 40 percent who feel like they’re about to burn out.

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Chances are, you can relate to the pressure of keeping up with life. But what are we keeping up with exactly?

You know it’s a problem. We ALL know it.

We can talk all day about the factors that trigger stress including the accessibility of more choice, 24-hour technological resources, more demanding jobs, self-consciousness, pressures that greet us at every turn and mobile phones which we seem to never turn off.

We know that we should focus more time on just ‘being’ and less time on doing because that is the space that allows us to breath in what really matters and to get more enjoyment out of life. If you’ve ever taken a break from it all, you know how beneficial it is.

But how many of these ‘awakenings’ have you had? How many times have you committed to being more present, smelling the roses and prioritizing your wellbeing? And the even bigger question is- why don’t the effects of these time outs ever seem to last very long?

I mean, it’s not like we really want to return to the chaos but we always do, even though we know logically that it’s not good for us. It’s like that bad habit you can’t seem to break no matter what you do. It’s a process most of us are not even aware of and often feels like an “urge” to return to those old and powerful behaviors that are so familiar.  Vacations and ‘me time’ are fantastic but there is no point, if you continue returning to life ‘as usual’.

It’s time to stop talking about temporary escapes from your stressful reality and time to start transforming your daily life so that you don’t need to run away from it anymore.

Stand up to your stress!

Is there a more permanent solution for maintaining balance and presence in your daily life? YES. But the solution requires understanding the most powerful drivers of your behavior.

Your daily behavior is the direct result of your most powerful beliefs about yourself and about the world. Evaluate your own beliefs for a moment.

What comes to mind when you think about what it means to be a woman? A mother? A wife or girlfriend. What do you think about friendship, accomplishment or love?  These thoughts are born out of your most powerful beliefs. Think about how your actions and motives reflect these beliefs.  Then, you can begin to determine if these beliefs are helping you or hurting you. Are these beliefs creating behaviors that benefit you or sabotage you?

Think for a moment about a recent situation in your everyday life. It could have been today, yesterday or last week. It could have happen at home, work or school. It was a moment in which you proceeded with a behavior that you knew wasn’t good for you- but you did it anyway. What happened in your mind right before you did it? What was the belief that popped up and convinced you to do it despite your better intentions? It could be the tiniest thought that points to a greater belief and deeper source of your behavior.

Another good way to pin point a belief that doesn’t serve you is to take stock of the grander picture of your life. What areas of your life do you want to change but just can’t seem to for a significant amount of time? It could be a battle with weight or addiction- an exhausting struggle with perfectionism or disorganization! Perhaps you keep falling for the same type of person who doesn’t treat you like you deserve or maybe you keep running into similar problems with friends or family. Have you ever asked yourself why you keep encountering these struggles over and over? Pay close attention to the answers you come up with- they point directly to your beliefs.

We all have areas in our life that could use a tune up- and some areas that we’ve always been successful in! The common denominator is always your beliefs. Beliefs that don’t serve you serve to create behaviors that sabotage your growth and improvement

Of course, you don’t sabotage your life on purpose- at least, not consciously. But you are functioning on a subconscious foundation made of belief and emotions, built and fortified throughout the course of your life.

It’s strong but you know what’s more powerful? YOU! You can break apart the beliefs that don’t serve you and effortlessly embrace ones that drive you towards success in every aspect of life.

Freedom is an inside job

This is the great secret of life. You don’t have to be a prisoner of your past, your impulses or your routine. True freedom means breaking out of theses self-imposed barriers. It means you stop following and start leading your own life.

But you don’t transform your beliefs by pushing away negative thoughts or pretending they don’t exist.

While vacations, relaxation and meditation offer a chance to re-connect, you can only stay plugged in when you let go of the source of your stress.

That’s the path to permanent transformation. It’s how you really #LetGo – for good.

Learn about the most powerful subconscious forces behind all of your behaviors and beliefs!

How to Break Bullying- Forever

Bullying remains a dark reality for hundreds of people. It doesn’t just impact the 6 out of 10 students who say they are victims of bullying on a daily basis but also a growing number of adults in the workplace. Technology has extended the reach of bullying beyond the confined spaces of school and work into a global arena of 24 hour online accessibility. Bullies can use sites like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to inflict powerful and personal harm on victims.

The emotional damage is clear, impacting important aspects of life even years after the bullying ends. Despite the growing interest and concern, bullying has remained a serious epidemic with no solid solution in sight- until now.

New science uncovers the root cause of bullying behavior and reveals how deeply victims are effected on a subconscious level. It’s insight that offers a deeper look at the powerful root cause of our emotional pain, behavior and beliefs and traces a road map towards the ultimate solution.

It begins by exploring the amazing inner workings of the subconscious brain and to do that we have to picture ourselves there. We’ll use Ricky’s story as an example:


1 Picture with a million broken pieces

Ricky stands in front of his locker early in the morning. There are many things happening around him; many students talking, laughing, and yelling as they walk past him, teachers speaking to each other. The sounds of locker doors closing and opening. The sound of the school buses shrieking as they slow down to approach the front of the school. The different colors of the books in front of him, how heavy they are. All of these details are pieces of data this his subconscious is processing (it processes a million times more information than the conscious brain is even aware of!) This data, which enters through his senses, is processed with specific emotion based on importance. (Like, for example, Ricky understands that the sound of the bell is pretty important if he wants to get to his first class on time!)

The brain always processes information this way- no matter what. So what happens if Ricky is standing there subconsciously processing all of this information around him and all of a sudden he gets pushed to the ground? He goes into instant panic mode. He falls to the ground and his books drop beside him. Another kid who is really tall, with dark curly hair and brown eyes is wearing a striped blue shirt and is standing above him, teasing him. Ricky sees his sharp chin and dimples. The bully is pointing at him with his finger, his voice is very deep and his feet are tapping as he laughs loudly before walking away. The bully has a very distinct walk that Ricky subconsciously notes as he’s still on the ground.  In that moment, Ricky felt a huge loss of control and fear. He froze in his panic and while HE froze, his brain sure didn’t. His brain continued to process all of those little details about the bully along with everything else that was going on around him in that hallway. Even though HE wasn’t focused on those things, his subconscious was. But during those moments, all of the data was processed with panic and fear. So all of those details that he absorbed about the bully and everything around him, was processed, but not the correct and healthy way. It is bad data. It’s why we call this data, bad clusters.

Bullying: The pain of a lifetime

Many years after the bullying is over, Ricky is talking to a tall co-worker with a deep voice who has dark curly hair and is wearing a striped blue shirt, who is holding a stack of different colored books. Ricky starts to feel panicked but is not sure why (He begins to think that perhaps he ate the wrong thing this morning, or maybe he’s dehydrated, maybe it’s just too hot in here?). All he knows is that he wants to get away from that situation- and quick! Later, Ricky decides that he doesn’t like this person because he ‘rubs’ him the wrong way.

What’s really happening is that those little details associated with the co-worker triggered an ‘activation’ of those bad clusters which were processed incorrectly during that bullying episode years ago. The activation of bad clusters is the number 1 cause of problems such as depression, insecurity, anxiety and rage and more.

But the impact of bad clusters doesn’t end there! They also affect our beliefs about ourselves and the world and our behaviors.

That bullying episode caused Ricky to develop an incorrect belief that did not serve him at all. He began to believe that who he was as a person made him a target for bullying and therefore he must become someone else. For years, Ricky felt as if he had to play a part and had trouble being himself with most people.

How to Break Bullying- Forever

Victims of traumatic bullying can develop all sorts of beliefs and behaviors as a response to the emotional pain. These beliefs drive the way they approach certain aspects of their life and how they view others.  It’s a complicated consequence of bullying that develops to push them away from the real root source of their emotional pain- bad clusters.

Don’t push away the pain. Transform it.

Most people don’t realize the complexity with which the subconscious stores and then activates data, throughout their life. These activations determine their beliefs and actions. When this data is wrongly stored- it creates beliefs and behaviors detrimental to your growth, health and happiness.

This makes internet bullying a prime platform for an over activation of pain from previous harassment. While you can’t control the behavior of this type of emotional attack, you CAN change the way it impacts you.

By consciously addressing bad clusters, the data is instantly reprocessed correctly (so that, for instance in Ricky’s case, someone with dark curly hair doesn’t activate panic!). This process instantly erases the associated negativity, immediately offering peace, confidence and clarity while improving behaviors and transforming beliefs to YOUR benefit!

What’s amazing about this “re-coding” process, is that it doesn’t just help victims of bullying, it helps the bully by addressing the root source of the bullying behavior- which is usually based in pain and trauma of their own.

Each of us reacts to pain very differently. The same pain that might make someone close off might make someone else a bully as a reaction to their own discomfort or fear.

To truly put a stop to bullying and heal victims permanently, we have to face the pain that drives us all.

Most people are not aware how powerful the ripple effect can be and how it’s causing self-sabotaging behaviors and beliefs that impact every single aspect of life. It often creates a weight carried throughout life, which steals energy and disrupts purpose. Don’t allow bullies from the past to drive your behavior and health today.

Progressive Mental Alignment pinpoints and transforms the pieces of pain with most powerful impact, allowing victims to take back the control of their life and freeing bullies from the behavior based on a hurtful past.

Control your own life from a clear perspective, without emotional pain, and settle into the life you were always meant to have!

Are you curious how your brain is functioning and want to free yourself of your psychological and psychosomatic complaints? Read all you need to know in Desirable Power